I will miss this little face.

One of my favorite traits of the Boy is his collection of cables. When we first met he had a suitcase full of them. (since then they have slowly whittled down to a duffle bag then a plastic bin, now they are in a traveler’s bathroom bag.) I always felt like they were biding their time and waiting to wind around my legs and pull me down in to the abyss, since I did mock the cables anytime they made an appearance. The funny thing is I am in awe of the cables. In awe how the Boy can just pull out the ones he needs from a pile like the one above.  He grabs a handful and drapes them around his neck and walks into his music space. I am awe how he just knows how to put in all back together. I would at least need the cables to be marked, but he knows by just looking - how awesome is that. Which is great because another trait of his that I love is his constant moving around of his desk area, searching for the perfect layout. Which means unplugging all his equipment and making a pile of cables for Trixie to lie on.
Going to miss the Boy's face too.  
But I get to go to the beach in Belize.
I'll be back in the country at the end of the week and back online monday - hope you had a great three-day weekend.

I was supposed to be on a plane heading to the beach, but a vicious cold sideswiped me.  All achy and unable to breath.  So I slept all day yesterday and am going to do the same today, but I just wanted to thank everyone for your thoughts and ideas regarding my not knowing.  I guess really I am not supposed to know, and I have to begin to be ok with that!  And since I am not standing still…I'll keep moving forward.  Right now it is back to bed, going to try to sleep it away to catch a plane and meet up with my fam on Monday.  Wish me luck.

I am 30 and 31 is biting at my heals. It is just weeks away and I don’t know what I want to do with my life.
The Boy is so happy working. He is working so hard.  Working like crazy, and he is exhausted, but really really happy.
That makes me aware of how unhappy I am at my job. Not so  much unhappy, but aware there isn’t any where for me to go. I don’t seem myself working there five years from know. I don’t really see myself working there through this year. I know how lucky I am. I get to play in paint every day, but at the same time it is not the ideal job.
My problem is that I don’t know what the ideal job is. What I want to do with my life. I am worried and scared. Trying to figure out my future, while my present is flying by. I feel like I have been on hold for a while. And I am afraid, afraid that I have allowed myself to be trapped. Allowed myself always to get jobs where I have nowhere to go. I feel like I should be working towards something.
Like on a career path, but I know I need to work in an art environment.
I love to work with my hands but I also have computer skills, but I have a love hate relationship with the computer. Over the past couple of years I have come around to depending on the computer, and respecting it. But definitely begrudging.
I love the freedom at the painting studio. And I am learning so much. I can see it in my own paintings, how the work I have been doing since I switched to the painting assistant job are so much better than the previous paintings. But that isn’t a good enough reason to stay. But right now I don’t have any idea of where I want to go. What the future holds, or rather what I want from the future.

Made by Friederike (with help from Sandra Monat!). He traveled all the way from Germany and the first thing I did was make him take a photo shoot on the roof of my building. Isn't he the cutest! And my view from the roof - how could I have missed the chance to take photos up here. Oh I am such a slacker. I already have plans for more photo shoots - a special one after I finish all the softies for the renegade show.

He was tuckered out after posing for photos, so he just slipped into my bag and we took the train home.  He sits with my growing collection of soft creations….

renegade update: 

I made a limit to how many softies I am making, I was driving myself crazy trying to figure it all out.

The penguins are ready to be stuffed
Inside out are also waiting for filling
Long birds have been cut out (might take them to sew on the plane)
Need to cut the bellies for the 'owls'
I am going to make some prints of my paintings - any must dos?
Need to get some containters for tuesdays - going to have solid perfume at the fair
Need bellies and eyes for the backdrop softies

(and lisa, punk is not dead)

that seems fair

I would say that the clouds were inspired by my renewed love for Flash Gordon, but alas that would be a lie.  Really the clouds were inspired by a stormy sky we were painting for a job, only I really wanted to use that phthalo blue that I am so fond of.  

And here is the close-up of my sad (maybe mute - the writing half of the la power couple has written a really sad story for her) girl.