The best strawberries that I have had in probably eight years. All my time in new york. I got them from the local farmer's market.  Unbelievably good and seven bucks for three pints you can never go wrong. The whole lot was so crazy sweet. 

Talking about sweet…how cool is this! Sleeping over at the Natural History Museum. 

Another word painting tomorrow. 

saudade (approx 4" x 5")
gouache on board

I painted. I finally stopped trying to figure out why it wasn't happening and it happend. I also  tried to stop beating myself up about it. I think it might have helped that I started working. That I started some sort of routine. Even if it isn't a regular one. The new apartment still isn't settled hopefully soon. I would love a place to call my own…all fingers crossed it will happen soon.  

My first word saudade (there is no particular order besides whatever comes out of my head first) was given to me by Anita and I love the mystery of the word. I love that it is only used by the Portuguese.

from wikipedia 

Saudade is generally considered one of the hardest words to translate. It originated from the Latin word solitatem (loneliness, solitude), but developed a different meaning. Loneliness in Portuguese is solidão (a semi-learned word), from Latin solitudo. Few other languages in the world have a word with such meaning, making saudade a distinct mark of Portuguese culture. It has been said that this, more than anything else, represents what it is to be Portuguese.

In his book In Portugal of 1912, A.F.G Bell writes:
"The famous saudade of the Portuguese is a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present, a turning towards the past or towards the future; not an active discontent or poignant sadness but an indolent dreaming wistfulness."

Just for fun another photo of one of my beach days. I loved the pink and grey that was happening with the sky and water.

avila beach
guest photographer: the boy

This month or rather last month has been wiggly for me…being out of my element, out of my routine. I never realized how I depended on things. How important a train ride was. For sitting, for sketching, for listening. This year is going to be one of major change. Figuring out how to draw again. Finding the place that’ll work for me to draw. It's been hard the drawing thing. Not having a proper place to paint has been hard. Being in a stranger’s space is messing with my head. I am sort of at a standstill. Which is affecting me strangely. I feel a little like I am putting my creative energies on hold or something. Now I feel pressure when I go somewhere to sketch. I think part of it is that I haven't found 'my' place yet…

That should end soon, but in a different way than I expected. The Boy is back in nyc to pack us up. To move west. Yep we are moving west moving to so cal. It is really exciting, but a little part of me needs to mourn nyc. And I haven’t forgotten about my word project…the words are swirling around and several have made their way to sketch form in fits and starts. I just need to get them painted. I think this week I am going to get us settled in an apartment. Or rather sign the papers and hand over the money, so that should help a lot. To have our own space.

happy new year!